Women and the World

A few days ago I blogged about my goals for the year, one of which is to read more. Another goal that I'm working on quite diligently is to support my fellow women of the world, particularly in endeavors of supporting themselves, starting businesses and being the best women they can be (starting with loving and accepting themselves).

A perennial goal of mine since about middle school is to freely give my honest positive opinions. This goal came to being when I attended a camp at age 14, hosted by my local district of Rotary International. On the first night of this camp as I lie in bed, I ran through all the things I'd regretted during the day (this was my usual ritual that took place every night before bed). I thought about the girl whose shoes I loved, and the fact that I didn't tell her I loved them (what was I afraid of? that she'd make fun of me for liking her shoes? or having the kindness to say so? or sharing her taste in footwear?) I thought about the boy in my group who was SO CUTE, and how I could barely muster up a hello (the likelihood of rejection here was much greater, so this bout of shyness is perhaps more understandable). And then it struck me. I'm tired of having so many regrets. So knowing full well that this was an environment in which I could do what I pleased (within normal, socially accepted behavior and the confines of politeness and the law), and with people I would likely never again have to see if this experiment blew up in my face, I set a goal. For that week I would live with no regrets. Ah! How empowering and utterly terrifying this goal was!! I think I fell asleep instantly from the exhausting realization of what I'd just committed myself to.

And so I lived that week seeking out opportunities to eliminate the possibility of regrets. I started complimenting people on their shoes and shirts and hair and asking for their advice on how to improve mine (I firmly believe all photos from between the ages 10 and18 should be burned and never spoken of again). I chose, despite my lack of athleticism on land (sure I was a swimmer, but ask me to engage in coordinated motion with some purpose on land is like asking a fish to walk) to climb the hardest hike on the day we hiked, rather than choosing the walk or the easy hike. I even asked the cute boy to dance with me at the end-of-camp dance (and he said yes, and I almost died in teenage bliss).

I remember that hike clear as day. It was probably one of the hardest hikes I've ever competed (I've never climbed a 14er, but it's not like I don't hike around when I get the chance). This hike was nearly straight up, I had no water with me and it took over 3 hours round trip. I spent the duration of this grueling endeavor with a wonderful women who just so happened to be the District Governor (that's a really, really big deal. especially since she's a woman) and a football player who were also struggling. The 3 of us encouraged each other and cheered each other on, and as we neared the top a slight panic set in. I realized that I was the last person to make it to the top. I was horrified. How embarassing!! I was certain I would be the laughing stock. (now, this was a camp about leadership, which means that people should have been nice, but most of these people were popular types and I, clearly, was not).

As I came to the end of the hike, however, and peered up to the outcropping of rock on which my fellow hikers were standing, I heard a surprising sound. The others were cheering for me. They were clapping. And I quickly burst into tears in my overwhelming gratitude for this amazing experience of positive reinforcement and genuine encouragement. And I climbed up to the top with my last ounce of energy, only to be greeted with whoops and hollers, high fives and hugs. That was it. I had proved to myself that I could make it to the top, that I could challenge myself (knowing that I would regret having not tried).

This was also a big moment because I realized that I didn't have to be the first or the best or the shining star to have done something worthwhile...and this is where my path to recovery from debilitating perfectionism began.

That was a (hopefully interesting) digression. Back to my goal. Supporting women.

So now I try my best to fluently express my opinions of things I like and fling out encouragement as much as I can. I know the power that encouragement can have in transforming a life, and I am not willing to lie in bed at the end of the day regretting not having told someone something nice. So to begin this trip of empowering and supporting women I am seeking out women in my life who are starting up businesses. Two women in particular come to mind.

The first is my aunt, who makes amazing beading jewelry. In fact, she made 6 pairs of pearl earrings for my wedding, giving me the opportunity to select the pair I most loved when I woke up on my wedding day. I proudly wore those earrings the entire day, and felt an extra bit of love dangling from my ears. The connection you create with a person when you support her artistic endeavors (which I believe represent the barest form of her heart and soul) is amazing.

The second is a wonderful young women I've had the good fortune to meet through work, the lovely woman who sells me my coffee and flaky croissants in the morning. She knits and crochets, but with a modern and lively twist. I've seen her work online and some of the hats she'll be selling downstairs along side the coffee and pastries and sandwiches. I knit and crochet myself, and I can say that her work is stellar and creative. So, as I mentioned before, I commissioned a pair of legwarmers from this cheery young woman who brightens my day not only with caffeine but also with her smiles and zest for life.

It is also important for me to be abreast of the plight of women abroad, and to keep that in my mind as I contemplate my own life. One book of which I am particularly fond is Half the Sky. This book is amazing and, in my opinion, a must read for anyone and everyone who is a woman, loves a woman or thinks women might be important to the world in some way (and if you don't fit one of those categories, we probably shouldn't be friends). It is a heartbreaking account of just what life is like for women and girls in the world (even on our own soil, though we often like to think "it's so much better here"). Written by two journalists, it's full of information, but also full of resources and ideas of what to do to make positive change.

See, I hate it when a book (or a person, movie or newscast) tells me all the problems of the world and then leaves me to wallow and worry and wish I had some way to just do something. This book provides plenty of ideas. I'd also be so bold as to say that just allowing yourself to become more aware of the world makes you a better person who perhaps thinks twice before buying a certain item, making a certain joke, or brushing off the gravidy of a report in the news. These little changes, I believe, will add up and make things better (though the realist in me know that we have to do more, and now to make the difference that is needed in this world).

Another book that I love has been around a little longer, Three Cups of Tea. This is another must read for anyone who seeks to understand the world and the root causes of violence. It highlights the importance of education and specifically of educating women and girls. This book is also quite the adventurous account of an amazing journey the author undertook, and it makes me want to travel more, hike more and experience more of the world! Not just that, but it reminds me that a single, committed person can turn their passion into a project that can make a huge difference in the world. And that's some good stuff.

Next on my list from Greg Mortenson? Stones into Schools: Promoting Peace with Education in Afghanistan and Pakistan.

As you can probably tell, I have a lot to read.